


After the Aftercare

by fanfic814



Series: Dirty Secrets [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftercare, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, M/M, Pillow Talk, Post-Coital Cuddling, Requited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 18:28:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4575156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfic814/pseuds/fanfic814
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For those who wondered what happened after 'Kink' - No smut here, just some Cas and Dean cuteness talking in bed.<br/>(To understand the context, you probably want to read part one of this series first.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	After the Aftercare

Dean awoke suddenly in a cold sweat, his eyes opened to the pitch-black dark of the bunker.  He hadn't slept with all the lights off in a long time and he panicked as he tried to roll over but couldn't move.  There was something wrapped around his waist and it quickly released as he struggled against it.

"Dean?  Are you okay?" a voice said.   _Cas._

Dean's body relaxed a bit as he tried to slow his breathing.  Cas's arm slid around his waist again, softly this time and Dean's brain finally calmed enough to take stock of his surroundings.  He was home, in his own bed with Castiel pressed close to his back, his arm casually draped across Dean's waist.

"Cas?" he whispered.

"I'm here, Dean." Cas said soothingly. "Go back to sleep."

"That wasn't a dream, was it?"

"No," Cas said softly. "It really happened.  And it's okay."  Cas's warm breath tickled the back of Dean's neck, and the hair on his arms prickled with goosebumps.

Dean pulled away slowly, his mind racing a mile a minute.  "Cas," he said, anxiety prickling at his stomach,  "How can this  _possibly_  be okay?  How are we ever gonna be okay again?  There are some lines you just can't cross and we just crossed a dozen of 'em."

Cas reached over and turned on the table lamp and squinted as his eyes adjusted to the light. "Dean," he said tentatively. "Did I do something wrong?  Was it not what you wanted?"

Dean sat up and slumped over the edge of the bed. He sighed.  "No.  I'm sorry, Cas.  I'm not blaming you. It was exactly what I wanted.  And  _needed_.  It kind of scares me.  I just mean... how are you ever gonna look at me again without thinking I'm some sort of weirdo?"

Cas slid over to his edge of the bed and sat next to him.  "Why would I think that?"

Dean snorted.  "You've seen my thoughts.  Saw me get off on all of that shit. I was totally getting off on jackin' it for an audience."

"And who told you to do 'all that shit'?" Cas asked, awkwardly using air quotes.  "Do you think I'd do it if I thought you were weird?  Look Dean, I won't pretend to understand human desires. But from what I've observed, they're complicated sometimes.  And judging that there are clubs exclusively for people  _with_  said desires, I think you fall well within the range of 'normal'.

Dean sighed.  "I suppose mine are pretty tame compared to some of those people."

Cas nodded.  "I saw some grown men wearing  _diapers_  when I was researching,Dean. I thought that was  _much_  weirder. But as long as they're all consenting adults and not hurting anyone, who cares?"

"Angels seem to be far less hung up on sex stuff, huh?" Dean noted.

"As a group we're pretty indifferent.  I think I'm pretty liberal on sex-related things.  Living in human form for so long has made me appreciate desire and physical contact much more than I could have imagined.  Sex is... very pleasurable."

Finally, Dean laughed. "Yeah.  Yeah it is."   He leaned his head on Cas's shoulder and let Cas wrap an arm around him.  "So you don't think I'm weird. But how the hell can I look at  _you_  and not think about you blindfolding me, restraining me, and fucking me senseless on the floor?  How can I not think about you bending me over your knee and spanking my ass every time I look at you?"  A crimson flush crept over his face and up to the tips of his ears.  "We can't go back to  _normal_  again, Cas."

Cas sat there quietly for a moment, stroking his hair. "Dean?" he said finally.  "What do you think all of those other people at that club do?  What do they do when playtime is over?  They go back to their normal lives and their boring jobs.  They go back to their kids and families.  They don't let it interfere with their lives."

Dean nodded and sighed.  "It's just... it's  _us_ , Cas."

"Right.  It's  _just us_ , Dean.  So what are you so scared of?"

Dean sat there staring at the floor, suddenly unsure of what to say.

"Come on," Cas urged, gently maneuvering him back into bed.  "It's three a.m.  You've been through a lot tonight.  Get some sleep.  You don't have to have all the answers right this minute."

Dean nodded solemnly as Cas straightened his blankets.  "You're staying, right?"

"Would you like me to?"

Dean nodded again.

Cas climbed under the blankets and clicked off the lamp, and Dean reached for his arm, securing it around his waist again.

"Hey Cas," he said softly.

"Yes Dean?"

"Why did you keep calling me 'baby'?"

Cas laughed a little. "I observed that many people use a term of endearment for their submissive rather than their real name during playtime."

"Oh.  How did you um, learn all that uh, stuff?"

"Well, I had your thoughts to go by and I did some reading, watched some videos.  I can absorb information quite quickly when I need to."

"And you thought you'd need to quickly?"

"If I was going to talk you out of letting yourself be tied up by a stranger, yes," Cas said, gently nosing at the back of his hairline.

"So you did  _all_  of  _that_ to keep me safe?" Dean asked quietly.

"Partly.  And partly to make you happy, Dean.  You seemed to need this so desperately. And I didn't trust anyone else to give you the care you needed afterwards."

"Hell of a way to take one for the team, Cas," Dean said, shaking his head in disbelief.  "Thank you."

"You thanked me before we went to bed the first time."

"Yeah, well.  I was a little out of it then.  I felt fuckin' high or something. I was in my own little world."

"Subspace," Cas said softly, pressing a tiny kiss to the back of his neck.

"What?"

"I think they call that 'subspace'. Your um, mental state.  Your adrenaline and endorphin levels can spike when you're subbing and it can make you feel sort of high or trance-like.  You were kind of going off toward the end there, which is why I said we needed to stop. That's why the whole uh, aftercare thing comes into play.  You need time to come down from it."

Dean rolled over to face him, just barely making out his outline in the dark. "Fuck. I can't believe you took the time to learn all this shit."

"It seemed important," Cas shrugged, planting another tiny kiss on his forehead and nuzzling into his hair. He wrapped his arm around Dean's waist again and pulled him in closer.

"What are you doin', Cas?" Dean asked softly.

"I don't know," Cas replied, grazing his lips against Dean's temple. "But I can't seem to help it,"

Dean closed his eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath. He lay there, letting Cas's lips work their way down his neck and then back up his jaw as his breathing grew harsh and ragged. Slowly he turned his head, barely brushing their lips together and Cas paused.  For a brief moment, they both hovered, unsure, close enough to breathe in each other's shaky exhaled breath. Then suddenly, Cas's lips were moving against his, pushing into him, softly at first and then harder as Dean's body became relaxed and pliant under his touch. Cas's hands were caressing his face, and Dean slid a hand just under the hem of his shirt, gliding over the warm muscles of his back, causing Cas to arch into him. Their legs twined together as Cas pulled him impossibly closer, gently slipping his tongue against the seam of Dean's lips until his mouth eagerly parted. Dean was suffocating, drowning in emotion, as he let his tongue glide and tangle slowly with Cas's.  He whimpered a cry of protest as Cas gently pulled away, pressing a final chaste kiss to his lips.    
  
They lay there a minute in silence, basking in the afterglow, willing their breathing to go back to normal.  
  
"I'm scared, Cas," Dean whispered into the crook of Cas's neck.  
  
"I know.  I just don't know what you're scared of," Cas said gently, stroking his hair again.   
  
 "Fucking up our friendship, mostly."  
  
"You can't 'fuck us up'.  We've nearly killed other while we were possessed. No offense, but if that hasn't fucked us up, a good thing like this won't either."  
  
Dean took a deep breath. "You know I love you, don't you, Cas?"    
  
"Yes, Dean," Cas said softly.   Dean could hear his smile in the dark. "But it sounds so good to hear you say it.  I love you too."    
  
Dean snuggled his head under Cas's chin with a sigh of relief.  "You know, while I had the Mark I felt so numb. After it was gone, all I could think about was feeling  _something_  again. And in the span of a few hours, you've made me feel  _everything_.  I just... I... You... Help me out here, Cas, I'm having a chick flick moment."  
  
Cas chuckled softly.  "Stop thinking so much and just enjoy it.  I think we both know we were bound to end up here eventually."  
  
"I know," Dean nodded.  
  
"Rest, Dean.  We'll deal with Sam in the morning."  
  
"Oh  _fuck_. I forgot about Sammy.  What am I going to tell him?"  
  
"Mmm, that I tied you up and fucked you on the floor of a BDSM dungeon and then we came home to have a bath together?"  Cas teased.   
  
Dean made a little whimpering noise in the back of his throat.  "Cas!"   
  
Cas laughed and growled suggestively. "What's wrong, baby?"  
  
"Fuck, Cas.  Such a tease.  I'm too emotionally exhausted tonight, but the next time we fuck, it's gonna be you and me.  No games, no props.  Just us."  
  
"That sounds wonderful," Cas whispered.     
  
"The time after that though is anybody's guess," Dean teased.  "Maybe you can be  _my_  sub next time.  I'll be your pizza man if you be my babysitter..."    
  
Cas grinned.  "I love you, Dean.  Look, I'll make Sam forget those few seconds in the morning.  Then we can tell him whatever you want later without having to explain the uh... bath and the collar."  
  
"That would be great," Dean yawned sleepily.  "I love you.  Always have.  'S always been you, Cas," he mumbled, tightening his grip around Cas's waist.  
  
Cas pressed another gentle kiss to his forehead.  "Sleep now, Dean."


End file.
